Living with debt for many people is a normal way of life.
For many different social circles, more so in the western world, it is considered the norm to have credit card bills, car payments, student loans and the list goes on.
The new influencer lifestyle adds a new dimension to the pressure of keeping up with others.
Some have fallen into debt however, not through keeping up with the joneses but through unintentional situations that gave them no choice. Leaving them struggling with loans or massive credit card debt.
For example, relationship break-up’s such as divorce, can severely affect a person’s financial situation. It is said that it can take a person 4 years to recover from a relationship break down from a financial perspective.
Dividing of assets, learning to live on one income, being left with someone else’s debt to pay creates massive financial problems for a person.
What are the results?
The results of these issues, can leave a person feeling completely overwhelmed, helpless and weighed down with anxiety.
Do you find yourself constantly replaying mistakes that you are unable to change? It is the easiest thing to do. Sadly not the most productive.
Even more damaging, is the temptation to bury your head in the sand. We all know deep down that ignoring the problem will not make it go away.
The guilt that takes over your mind can be overwhelming. You want to move forward in life but your current financial circumstance is holding you back.
If you find yourself in this repetitive cycle, I can assure you that you are not alone.
There is hope to start again
To work your way out of debt takes more time, energy and motivation than it does to get into debt.
Whilst I admit, I am no expert on counselling matters, I can speak first hand of the emotional hurdles I have had to overcome in my experience of living with debt.
I will say that if you are facing deep and extremely serious financial problems, then please seek out professional financial advise or counselling that can help you.
Financial mistakes can make you feel like a massive failure. When this happens, its all too easy to allow yourself to fall into the trap of self-doubt, depression and no action is actually taken to solve the problem.
Looking back, I know that there were opportunities where I could have either avoided or paid off debt. Instead, my emotional mindset was set in a way that I just could not see past the problem.
That is just one point to show the powerful influence your emotions can have over your finances.
If I can help just one person avoid the same mistakes, take a step back and see the light at the end of the tunnel, then this post is worth every bit of my time.
Acknowledgement then acceptance
First knowing that there is a problem is a huge step forward. Second is that of acceptance.
Acknowledgement of the problem allows you to be open to the severity of what your financial situation is.
It opens up the path for you to really see what went wrong. Perhaps there are spending habits that need to be changed or you can pin point one specific moment that changed your finances.
Acceptance is knowing that there is something that needs to be fixed.
This is not about what others think or how they see you, its about bringing awareness to yourself and owning that.
Debt is not a life sentence
Debt does not have to run your life forever!
Banks and other financial institutions may want you to think that way, after all its their business, but it does not have to be that way.
You might be surprised, after assessing your level of debt, and putting a plan in place, that you can in fact be debt free in just a few years.
While there is a culture of people in debt, there is a culture of people getting OUT of debt. Focus on these people.
Start to view it as normal to work your way out of debt. Set a timeline, an end goal of when you will be debt free and how you can work towards it.
Focus on fixing the problem
In this situation, you have a choice. You can focus on the negative or you can push all the emotional weight to one side and focus on fixing your debt.
Easier said than done for sure.
Here is where you have to be practical and logically take steps towards addressing the problem.
You might need to start a new budget to help you work towards paying off your debt.
Perhaps you need to find a way to increase your income or take on a second job. Increasing your income will give you more money to put towards your outstanding debts.
Speak to your creditors and find out what the outstanding debt amounts are, and if you can negotiate payment options or even a settlement figure to close the account completely.
Take back control to improve your confidence towards your finances.
Small wins will have you walking tall and will do wonders for your state of mind.
Have supporters
Being in debt is not something we usually shout from the rooftops. In my case, I felt extremely ashamed of myself and did not want to feel judged by others.
There were only a couple of people, very close to me that I felt comfortable with to share what I was going through.
You only need a very small support system, even one person who you can offload to and trust that they have your back.
Share with them your goals and what you are working towards. Let them cheer you on and motivate you, especially when it gets difficult or you just want to give up. You need someone in your corner.
Forgive yourself
Remember when I said at the start that you can blame yourself for past mistakes?
Forgiving yourself is crucial to overcoming the emotional scars of being in debt. We are all only human and no one walks through life error free.
Mistakes become lessons we learn from and can help others in the future.
Forgiving yourself takes the pressure off by allowing yourself to be human. You are amazing, but not perfect, and thats ok.
When you fall down, just dust yourself off and start again.
Dealing with debt especially over a long period of time can be draining.
Some financial situations are much more difficult than others. Please, if you are facing extremely serious financial problems, then please seek out professional financial advise or counselling that can help you.